Marriage, a sacred covenant between two individuals, is highly esteemed in Christianity. However, despite its sanctity, Christian marriages can face significant challenges. Often, these challenges are exacerbated by the words spouses use with each other. This post delves into some of the common phrases that can harm Christian marriages and offers insights supported by Bible verses to help couples navigate their relationships with love and grace.
Phrases That Are Killing Christian Marriages
1. “You Always/Never…”
These absolutes are rarely true and often unfair. Saying “You always forget” or “You never listen” places your spouse in a defensive position and diminishes their efforts.
Biblical Insight: “Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.” – Ephesians 4:29
Interpretation: This verse reminds us to speak words that build up rather than tear down. Using absolutes like “always” and “never” corrupts our communication and fails to offer the grace needed to foster a loving relationship.
2. “I Don’t Care Anymore”
Expressing apathy towards your spouse or your marriage can be deeply hurtful. It signals a lack of investment and interest, which can lead to emotional detachment.
Biblical Insight: “Above all, keep loving one another earnestly, since love covers a multitude of sins.” – 1 Peter 4:8
Interpretation: Love should be earnest and persistent. When you say “I don’t care anymore,” it undermines the commitment to love and cover each other’s flaws and mistakes.
3. “Why Can’t You Be More Like…”
Comparing your spouse to someone else, whether it’s a friend, a family member, or even a public figure, is detrimental. It breeds insecurity and resentment.
Biblical Insight: “Each one should test their own actions. Then they can take pride in themselves alone, without comparing themselves to someone else.” – Galatians 6:4
Interpretation: Comparisons are dangerous because they detract from the unique qualities and contributions of each individual. Encouraging your spouse to be their best self, rather than someone else, fosters a healthier and more affirming relationship.
4. “It’s Your Fault”
Blaming your spouse for every problem in your marriage can create a toxic environment. It prevents constructive problem-solving and erodes trust.
Biblical Insight: “Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.” – Colossians 3:13
Interpretation: Forgiveness is paramount in marriage. Rather than placing blame, couples should seek to understand each other’s perspectives and work towards reconciliation.
5. “I’m Done”
Threatening to leave during every disagreement weakens the marriage foundation. It creates instability and fear, making it hard for both partners to feel secure and valued.
Biblical Insight: “Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.” – Mark 10:9
Interpretation: Marriage is a union ordained by God. Threatening to abandon the relationship goes against the commitment to stay together through thick and thin, as intended by God.
6. “You’ve Changed”
While people do change over time, saying this in a negative way can imply that change is inherently bad or unwanted. It can make your spouse feel unappreciated and misunderstood.
Biblical Insight: “Do not lie to each other, since you have taken off your old self with its practices and have put on the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge in the image of its Creator.” – Colossians 3:9-10
Interpretation: Change is a natural part of growth and should be embraced. Instead of criticizing your spouse for changing, celebrate the ways they are growing and evolving, and support each other in becoming more Christ-like.
Read also: Is Marriage in the Bible?
Prayer For Our Marriage
Heavenly Father,
We thank You for bringing us together and for the love we share. Lord, we ask for Your guidance and strength as we navigate this journey together.
Help us to communicate with kindness and grace, always seeking to build each other up rather than tear down. Fill our hearts with patience, understanding, and forgiveness, reflecting Your love in our relationship.
Lord, protect our marriage from any harm and give us the wisdom to resolve conflicts with humility and love. Teach us to cherish and honor each other, recognizing the unique qualities You have placed within us.
Guide us to grow closer to You and to each other every day. Strengthen our bond and let our love for one another reflect Your divine love.
In Jesus’ name, we pray,
Amen.
Conclusion
The words we choose to use in our marriages have profound impacts. As Christians, we are called to speak with love, grace, and truth, building each other up and fostering a healthy, godly marriage. By avoiding these harmful phrases and instead, embracing communication that reflects biblical principles, couples can strengthen their bond and honor the covenant they made before God.
Reflection: Consider your recent conversations with your spouse. Are there words you’ve used that might have been harmful? How can you incorporate more grace-filled, loving language into your daily interactions? Reflect on these questions and seek God’s guidance in nurturing a stronger, more loving marriage.
Read also: 50 Bible Verses About Family
