Marriage, a sacred covenant between two people, is highly esteemed in Christianity. However, despite its sanctity, Christian marriages can face significant obstacles. Often, these challenges are exacerbated by the words couples use with each other. This post delves into some of the common phrases that can harm Christian marriages and offers insights backed by Bible verses to help couples navigate their relationships with love and grace.
Phrases That Are Killing Christian Marriages
1. “You Always/Never…”
These absolutes are rarely true and often unfair. Saying “You always forget” or “You never listen” places your spouse in a defensive position and diminishes their efforts.
Biblical Insight: “Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.” – Ephesians 4:29
Interpretation: This verse tells us to say words that build up rather than tear down. Using absolutes like “always” and “never” corrupts our communication and fails to give the grace needed to create a loving relationship.
2. “I Don’t Care Anymore”
Expressing disinterest towards your partner or your marriage can be deeply hurtful. It shows a lack of investment and interest, which can lead to emotional detachment.
Biblical Insight: “Above all, keep loving one another earnestly, since love covers a multitude of sins.” – 1 Peter 4:8
Interpretation: Love should be serious and persistent. When you say “I don’t care anymore,” it weakens the pledge to love and cover each other’s flaws and mistakes.
3. “Why Can’t You Be More Like…”
Comparing your partner to someone else, whether it’s a friend, a family member, or even a public person, is detrimental. It breeds fear and anger.
Biblical Insight: “Each one should test their own actions. Then they can take pride in themselves alone, without comparing themselves to someone else.” – Galatians 6:4
Interpretation: Comparisons are dangerous because they detract from the unique traits and contributions of each person. Encouraging your partner to be their best self, rather than someone else, creates a healthier and more affirming relationship.
4. “It’s Your Fault”
Blaming your partner for every problem in your marriage can create a toxic situation. It stops helpful problem-solving and erodes trust.
Biblical Insight: “Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.” – Colossians 3:13
Interpretation: Forgiveness is important in marriage. Rather than placing blame, partners should seek to understand each other’s views and work towards reconciliation.
5. “I’m Done”
Threatening to leave during every fight weakens the marriage foundation. It causes instability and fear, making it hard for both partners to feel safe and valued.
Biblical Insight: “Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.” – Mark 10:9
Interpretation: Marriage is a union created by God. Threatening to abandon the relationship goes against the promise to stay together through thick and thin, as meant by God.
6. “You’ve Changed”
While people do change over time, saying this in a negative way can suggest that change is inherently bad or unwelcome. It can make your partner feel unwanted and misunderstood.
Biblical Insight: “Do not lie to each other, since you have taken off your old self with its practices and have put on the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge in the image of its Creator.” – Colossians 3:9-10
Interpretation: Change is a normal part of growth and should be welcomed. Instead of criticizing your partner for changing, praise the ways they are growing and developing, and support each other in becoming more Christ-like.
Read also: Bible verses to pray over your Marriage
Prayer For Our Marriage
Heavenly Father,
We thank You for bringing us together and for the love we share. Lord, we ask for Your direction and strength as we manage this journey together.
Help us to speak with kindness and grace, always trying to build each other up rather than tear down. Fill our hearts with kindness, understanding, and forgiveness, reflecting Your love in our interaction.
Lord, protect our marriage from any harm and give us the knowledge to settle conflicts with humility and love. Teach us to cherish and respect each other, recognizing the unique qualities You have put within us.
Guide us to grow closer to You and to each other every day. Strengthen our bond and let our love for one another reflect Your divine love.
In Jesus’ name, we pray,
Amen.
Conclusion
The words we choose to use in our marriages have deep impacts. As Christians, we are called to communicate with love, grace, and truth, building each other up and creating a happy, christian marriage. By avoiding these harmful phrases and instead, embracing communication that respects biblical principles, couples can improve their bond and honor the covenant they made before God.
Reflection: Consider your recent discussion with your partner. Are there words you’ve used that might have been harmful? How can you add more grace-filled, loving words into your daily interactions? Reflect on these questions and seek God’s direction in creating a stronger, more loving marriage.
Read also: 50 Bible Verses About Family
